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Discover How To Overcome Social Anxiety And ShynessAre you held back by shyness? Do many things seem out of reach due to social anxiety?Many people have settled into thinking this is just how life is... "This is just the way I am." However, nothing could be further from the truth.In this inspiring, breakthrough book, Dr. Aziz guides you along the path out of social anxiety and into greater confidence in yourself. You will discover what is keeping you stuck in shyness and learn exactly what to do in order to break free.After suffering from social anxiety himself for many years, Dr. Aziz became determined to find a way to social freedom. His deep understanding if what creates the social fears, shyness, and limitations, displays just how much he gets what it feels like to be shy.The first part of this book focuses on understanding the problem. You will discover exactly why you feel social anxiety in a variety of situations. This section teaches you about the deep underlying beliefs that lead to your fears, and you will learn the single belief that is beneath all shyness.In this section you will also understand why you have that continual fear of, "what will they think of me?" that can be so limiting in social anxiety. you will also learn about your inner critic, which is actually a much bigger drain on your confidence than any situation or person outside of yourself.The second portion of this book focuses entirely on the solution to social anxiety. Dr. Aziz starts by describing social confidence as the way out. Social confidence includes a feeling of relaxed freedom around others to be yourself without the self-criticism and judgment that are so common in shyness.You then go on to discover the 3 major steps of breaking free from shyness and social anxiety. These are:
Know Who You AreAccept Yourself. All of YourselfTake Bold ActionStep 1 - Know Who You AreIn order to overcome social anxiety and feel confident and to relate to others with comfort and ease, you must know who you are. This includes owning your preferences, speaking your mind, and letting go of the need to please everyone else at the expense of yourself. Step 2 - Accept Yourself. All of Yourself.Most of the pain and suffering from shyness and social anxiety is not due to the rejection we receive from others. It's the rejection we receive from ourselves on a daily basis. You will discover how to turn your inner critic into an ally so you can feel more peace and joy in all of your interactions.Step 3 - Take Bold ActionNo matter how much we change our thinking and accept ourselves, nothing significant changes in our lives unless we take action. In order to truly liberate yourself and break free from shyness, social anxiety, and self-doubt, you must consistently move towards what scares you. In this section you will design your own customized action plan for creating social confidence and success.This book is by no means academic or aloof. It is full of practical tools and techniques that you can start using today to improve your confidence and free yourself of social anxiety and social discomfort. In addition, Dr. Aziz provides numerous engaging stories from the work he has done with clients, and from his own life, to illustrate how to use the techniques to forge a path to freedom. He is refreshingly authentic and honest about what it feels like to be shy, which can provide you with a great sense of relief in itself.Using the tools, insights, and clinically proven techniques in this book, you will learn how to:
- Stop worrying about what others will think of you.
- Free yourself from social anxiety, shyness, self-doubt and self-criticism.
- Identify your strengths and increase your self-esteem so you can feel proud of who you are.
- Overcome your fear of rejection so you can meet people, date, and excel in your career.
- Start conversations and meet new people without social anxiety or fear.
- Create fulfilling friendships and romantic relationships.
- Sales Rank: #27265 in Books
- Published on: 2013-09-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .58" w x 5.50" l, .66 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 230 pages
Review
"If you are struggling with shyness or social anxiety, Dr. Aziz is the guide you have been looking for. He walks with you every step, inspiring you on the path to liberation and ever-increasing confidence in yourself. This book is life changing and I recommend it to all of my clients - even the ones who don't think they're shy!"- Dr. Landon Berger, Founder of Portland Positive Psychology
From the Author
I am glad you have come across this book. If you are suffering or struggling in your life right now, I understand. I spent many years stuck in a place of debilitating shyness that prevented me from speaking up, meeting people, going on dates, and having satisfying relationships. I know the pain of this shyness in a very deep and intimate way.
The worst part about this shyness was not that I couldn't go after what I wanted in my life. It wasn't that I felt nervous and tense in my body much of the time. It wasn't even that I was unable to bring myself to ask women out or date because of my intense fear of rejection. All of these aspects of my shyness were very painful and I struggled with each of them, but the worst part about it was that I believed I was going to be stuck like this forever.
I saw other guys, including friends of mine, who were somehow able to do what I could not. They would make jokes, speak up in groups, and flirt with women. I saw myself as somehow different, or less than they were. This gap between them and me seemed like an insurmountable chasm, leaving me on the outskirts forever.
If you relate to these struggles, and you fear that things might not change, I am especially glad you found this book. It is essentially written to a version of myself from 15 years ago. In it I am sharing everything I have learned about how to break free from the confines of fear and anxiety that held me back.
I have applied everything you will read in this book either on myself or with one of the hundreds of men I have worked with over the last decade. It is my sincerest hope that these ideas, exercises, tools, and tips help you realize something that shifted my life forever--that you are not stuck this way, that it is entirely possible to find a well of courage inside of your heart that will drive you to overcome the challenges you are facing. It will drive you to face your fears, rejection, and failure in order to create the friendships, career, relationships, and life you truly want. As you do this, you will see just how much of your social anxiety was based on old, inaccurate stories and ideas about yourself. You will start to see the truth about yourself--who you are, and what you have to offer the world--and life will start to look a lot brighter.
I wish you good luck on this journey, and I am excited to be with you along the way.
About the Author
Dr. Aziz is a clinical psychologist and one of the world's leading experts on social confidence. After being stuck in shyness and social anxiety himself for almost 10 years, he became determined to find a way to social freedom. Through thousands of hours of his own training, counseling, reading, group work, and coaching, he has truly mastered what it takes to break free from shyness and social anxiety into a life of confidence.In 2011, Dr. Aziz started The Center For Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping everyone break through their shyness and social anxiety. Through his unique blend of compassion, humor, and personal courage, Dr. Aziz has helped thousands of people all over the world increase their confidence. Through confidence coaching, audio and video programs, podcasts, a detailed blog, and intensive weekend workshops, Dr. Aziz lives out his mission: To help every person who is stuck in shyness liberate themselves to pursue the relationship, career, and life they have always dreamed of.
He lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife Candace and son Zaim (who he claims is the "most socially confident badass kid in the world.")
Most helpful customer reviews
27 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
A woman's perspective on this book
By Mary
A couple of points, this book is directed towards a male audience more than a female audience. There are lots of mentions of 'talking to cute girls', etc., but there are great pieces of information so ignore references to cute girls and keep reading. The text is accessible and easy to follow and the concepts are fairly straight forward.
I have been looking for information that would help me work through my social anxiety for some time. I liked to think that I was well adjusted until it came to doing a presentation or having to be the center of attention in which case my body would go into a fight or flight response. Prior to reading this book, I was able to get through those difficult moments, but I really didn't want to fear having those difficult moments anymore. Reading this book gave me clues as to how social anxiety has impacted many areas of my life. This book has provided a great framework for moving past my social anxiety and I highly recommend it. As a side note, the links provided are no longer valid so I wasn't able to pull up the sites that were discussed.
Also, if you see me alone at the movies, make sure you smile.
20 of 21 people found the following review helpful.
Very practical and specific advice that you can put to immediate use
By jbd
I have read this book, and I have also been working directly with Aziz for several months. I recommend both experiences very strongly (although working with him directly is pretty expensive, so if you are tight on money, work with the book).
I'm a middle-aged guy who has struggled with social anxiety my whole life. I sought out Aziz because I got a job offer that I knew was going to take me way outside my comfort zone, on a regular basis, and force me to take a lot of social initiative.
I have tried talk therapy in the past, but found that I was just recounting and dwelling on my difficulties and failures. If anything, it made me feel worse.
After several months of working with Aziz (personally and with the book), I am now making real progress, which I can see in successful efforts to connect with people.
It's easy to explain where you need to go; getting there is of course the trick. Here's your problem, and mine: You think you are defective because you have a long history of bungled efforts to connect with people. Deep down, you think something is wrong with you. You go into your interactions with people with that mindset. And that's why you fail so often, which then reinforces your conclusions about yourself.
You need to stop that. You have to understand that an ability to connect with people is just a skill, like any other. You weren't born with a natural gift for it, as some people are--otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. But that doesn't mean you can't develop the skill. You can. And once you come to feel that you just have an underdeveloped skill that you need to work on--rather than some deep personal flaw--you can start creating new patterns in your life.
Aziz has devoted his professional career to finding practical ways to break down the self-destructive mindset holding you back, and to developing practical, specific exercises you can do to create a new pattern of success. He's done his homework, and he ties his advice to strategies that have been proven to work through psychological studies.
But sometimes, he can get you just to laugh at yourself, at the sheer ridiculousness of the toxic way you judge yourself and hold yourself back. That can be the most helpful of all.
Imagine a high school coach who stood on the sidelines during the big game screaming at his players: "You suck! You don't even belong on the field! You're going to lose, big time! Everyone is going to find out you're a complete fraud as a football team!"
That's what you're doing to yourself. You need to cut it out. This book will help you create a self-reinforcing pattern of success, rather than a pattern of failure.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
This is the solution you have been looking for
By Phil
I couldn't tell you how much time I have wasted over the years watching hours of videos and reading countless books and articles desperately searching for a solution to social anxiety. This book IS the solution and I just wish I had found it sooner...
As well as being an outstanding read and equipping you with everything you need to know to change your life for the better, Dr Gazipura can draw on his own experiences and really relate to you on a deep and personal level.
The first part of the book deals with understanding social anxiety and it identifies the root causes of your negative thought patterns which ultimately fuel your low self-esteem. He expertly exposes these negative beliefs for what they really are - ridiculous assumptions based on false evidence! Through performing a list of simple but effective exercises, you learn to shift these negative beliefs and start seeing yourself in a much more positive light.
After making that mental shift and realizing that it's absolutely possible to overcome social anxiety, Dr Gazipura guides you on to the second part of the book - taking bold action. He equips you with the practical knowledge and sheer motivation to begin to challenge yourself and expose yourself to your social fears. With your new positive mind-set and an end in sight, this process is encouraging and actually rather enjoyable. I have made huge progress over the last couple of weeks and I am becoming increasingly motivated to challenge myself more and more every day.
To sum up, the guy's a legend! I urge you all to pick a copy up right now, you won't regret it!
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